One Emotion at a Time

There's always that one guy that will do just about anything for you. You love spending time with him, talking and sharing stories, having lunch together but that's probably just about it. Even though you know, he would be the ideal mate, you choose not to have a relationship with him.

Then there's the guy that won't appreciate you as much as you may want him to and never shares his thoughts and feelings yet he's the guy you want to be intimate with and have a relationship with.

"Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less... "

He cares less and yet he holds so much power. This holds so true in relationships. I know because that's been done to me and I've done the same to others. Why? He's truly not happy... Neither am I. That's why we do what we do yet it gives us the upper hand in the relationship, beit the premature point of the relationship or after the starting line. We're not happy and we hurt people by playing with their emotions. It seems this is going slightly off on another tangent involving myself with playing the same game but since this isn't about how I've done others wrong (I apologize to them), I'll reel it back in - I hate that he has this power over me but as the song says "Damned if I do you. Damned if I don't." I find myself going back for more. I can't find the strength to pull away ...for good. As I try to sort through my emotions and find the cause for each, I realized one thing: I want to be in love, to love and to be loved back. And the hardest thing is already knowing that I won't find that with him yet I keep trying to reach for it. I think that is why I'm finding myself lost at times, emotional and detached. I want to break away.